Monday Morning Meditation #21: Let's Remember to Grant God Full Credit

I continued through the book of Deuteronomy this week, I did not make great progress, but progress, measured in speed, is not what I am after, anyway. It was the following chapter (from last week's MMM) that caught my attention. There the Israelites are promised wealth and power and easy lives compared to what they had been living in the desert once they reach the Promised Land. At the same time, they are cautioned to remember that it is thanks to God that they will achieve this and that they should not later attribute it to their own talent, power, and "might of hand."

Reading: Deuteronomy 8:6-18

Meditation: I wonder how many people pray desperately for help from God and when it arrives attribute it to something else -- surgical skill in the case of medical urgencies, a lucky break in the case of finances, their own actions when it comes to professional success.

In reflecting upon the application of this Deuteronomic theme to my own life, I did not have to go far. Last Monday night's confession provides a clear example. (I know that what is said at confession is not for public consumption. Nonetheless, I think God won't mind if I "go public" about just this one thing because it is such a clear-cut example of what He is admonishing us to do in Deuteronomy.)

Right before leaving work for the day on Monday, I had had to cancel an appointment with a former junior manager (let's call her Suzie) whom I occasioned to be demoted because she psychologically abused her employees. She, of course, was not happy with me for that, but something worse from both my point of view and hers happened a couple of months. I needed some work for her on a project that she felt was moving too fast to ensure high quality, but what she did not understand was that the requirement was coming from higher headquarters and lack of the product, even if it was only a C+ product, was creating a major dilemma for people in need of it. I was doing a relatively poor job of damming up my exasperation when her supervisor returned to find my note about the specifics of what was needed for the project. He responded, saying that the project would have to be delayed, giving me word for word Suzie's arguments. At that point, my exasperation broke through the dam and flooded every fiber in my body. "That is not you talking," I wrote to the supervisor. "That is Suzie. If she cannot do the job, I will. However, if I end up doing her job for her, I will find a replacement for her. In fact, I am looking now."

It was not the nicest letter I have ever written, but it was confidential, just to Suzie's supervisor, or so I thought. I had missed -- I tend to see the forest and miss the trees until I smack into one -- was that Suzie's supervisor had cc'd her on his original letter, and I had accidentally pushed "reply all" rather than "reply." So, off danced my poisonous little missive right into the e-mail box of Suzie, who quickly beat a path to the door of her supervisor -- and then to me.

I got what I needed. The project was done quickly and actually quite well. Suzie, however, was understandably distressed about what I had written. We talked about it on several occasions, with her constantly trying to justify what I considered unjustifiable. In one of her less defensive moments, she admitted to being scared of me. Ouch! You cannot help someone grow if they are scared of you, and unless Suzie could grow, in spite of having unique talents and skills that nearly no one else had, she would not be that useful to us. Last Monday, as I was heading home, having re-scheduled appointments that were OBE (i.e. had been Overcome By Events, in this case, a mandatory meeting with my supervisor and his peers), Suzie told me that she was working on a portfolio (!) of proof that I undervalued her contribution to the organization and that my assessment of individual instances in which her subordinates had complained about her abuse was wrong: she had done nothing wrong and could prove that in many instances she had acted brilliantly. She condemned my use of a reverse evaluation (she fared poorly in two of them), and finally she handed me a card about what to do when someone "sins against" you, telling me that she would like to talk about "my sins" the next time we met. Well, obviously, things were getting worse, not better, from our communications even though I thought that I had done a very good job of providing rationales and examples for my assessments, had responsibly established parameters for work, and had laid a foundation for her development and a way to improve relationships. Here, though, she was now telling me that I had "sinned against" her. (She belongs to a branch of Christianity with which I am unfamiliar, and so much in the little brochure was not entirely comprehensible to me. Although I did try to read it with understanding, the best I achieved was an open mind.)

I brought up this situation in confession, wondering if I was being too proud, arrogant, self-assured, or whatever in the matter, keeping in mind her insistence that I had committed some sort of sin as far as she was concerned. Fr. M. suggested that I pray for her. Now that surprised me. I had not thought of doing that, and I did it with pleasure, daily, until I met with her on Thursday.

At that meeting, the most marvelous thing occurred. She came in quietly, not defensively, and said to me, using the Middle Eastern, Latin American, and Asian form of address that many of my employees hailing from those parts of the world tend to use, "Dr. Beth, I would like to change the content of this meeting from what we had planned. I would like to ask you to mentor me, to show me where I can improve, and to help me do it." I could not believe my ears! Of course, I am willing to mentor her and to give her a zillion more chances if she wants to try to become a good and caring team player and employee -- and if she is successful, I will be happy to consider promoting her back to a management position.

After she left, I sat stunned for a few minutes. And here is where Deuteronomy 8:17 came into play for me. I could have considered that I personally had been such an effective supervisor that I had turned her around. I could have congratulated myself with great complacency and marveled at my own skill. However, I knew that it was the prayer that Fr. M told me to say that made the difference. Nothing I had done could have effected such an incredible, overnight, complete change in attitude. Only God could have done that. I know not to ascribe to myself that which He does, has done, and will do. And if I forget? I have Deuteronomy 8:17 to remind me.

And that is far as I can go with you on this Monday morning. I must retire to prayer to repent for any and all times that I may have taken credit for that which God has done in my life and the lives of my family and colleagues, to thank God for all the many blessings He has given to me and to those who share some aspect of my life, to give praise for His incredible ways of turning people inside out for the better, and to ask Him to help me always see His hand in any success I might have. After that, I will spend time in contemplation, which brings me deep comfort and joy.

I will now leave you to your prayer and contemplation, but first, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts.

For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs that follow the enumeration of Monday Morning Meditations on the sidebar of this blog and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

Since a great day will arrive before my next MMM, I will wish all of you a blessed Christmas! May joy, comfort, peace, and all good things be yours that day and throughout the new year!