Monday Morning Meditation #64: Unless God Is With Us, All Is In Vain

These psalms are very intriguing. I had thought that perhaps I would polish off the remaining 25 or so this week, but no, I got hung up on the very next one, Psalm 127. Like so many of the other psalms, it is short and powerful. Like so many other psalms, it rings as true today as it did centuries ago. Like so many of the other psalms, it hit home, hard, beginning with verse 1, which reads:

Unless the LORD builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.

Unless God is with us, whatever we do is in vain. Moreover, without God, we are vulnerable. The imagery is perfect for expressing these thoughts.

Reading: Psalm 127

Meditation: An immediate application of this psalm to my personal life thudded into my consciousness with two feet hitting the ground, one foot being my life and work before conversion and the other being my life and work after conversion. I like to think that I have always been a good boss, not only in the sense of success but also in the sense of being supportive to employees. However, there is a different sense and feel to my experiences before and after conversion.

Before conversion, I had an excellent reputation for running a well oiled, competent, and productive enterprise where people are capable and generally happy. They felt empowered, primarily because I learned early on how to delegate, mentor, and empower. People were bonded, especially to me and to whatever organization I happened to be at. Sometimes we were bonded through fighting together against the establishment idiocies; other times we were bonded through vision and plans. I knew little about people's personal lives, with a few exceptions. That is as it should have been, I thought at the time. After all, we were at work to accomplish a professional mission, and we did that with rewarding success. What more could a manager want?

After conversion, I have an excellent reputation for running a well oiled, competent, and productive enterprise where people are capable, clearly happy, and at peace. They say that they feel empowered because they know I trust them, care about them, and will take the time needed to develop them. People are bonded not only to me but also to each other. While there are frustrations and goals to be accomplished, and while the establishment still takes some stances that appear idiotic to us, our bonds are not built in an us-against-them effort but in a loving approach that takes the starting point that everyone at all levels of our organization wants the mission to succeed and is basically a good person, that every person is needed and essential, and that we all need each other in very special ways at special times. I knew a lot about people's personal lives now. You see, people now use my open door policy not just to discuss work issues but also to share their personal concerns, insecurities, philosophies, needs, desires, and friendship. They even, at times, ask for prayer; those who are Christian sometimes they want me to pray with them. They talk to me about their families, their colleagues (how to love them better and work wtih them more effectively and harmoniously), and, in surprisingly more cases than one might think, regardless of their brand of religion, about their relationship with God. That is as it should have be in an organization where God's present is desired and felt. We have had prayed so often for one colleague or another, and we have had far more than our fair share of miracles.

I have found the answer to my unasked pre-conversion question, what more could a manager want? A manager could want God's presence in building the house and guarding the city. Ironically, the organization I built without God's help was dismantled by human hands four years later. This organization I am currently building with God's help may also be dismantled by human hands at some point in the future (although with 125% growth every year for the past five years, I don't think that is going happen any time soon), but if it is, what will not be dismantled is the house we are all building together with God's help. Some employees have retired during the past five years and some have moved on to other positions that pay more, but most have stayed in touch. Most are still willing to lend a helping hand, a sympathetic ear, a plaintive prayer. There has been set done a foundation that supports not just the work mission but also and more importantly the human condition.

Contemplation: That is far as I can go with you this Monday morning. I now retire to private prayer, repenting for those pre-conversion days when I mistakenly thought it all depended on me and pridefully thought that I could build an organization without God's help, to thank God for being with me and my colleagues as we strive to build not just a work organization but a workplace where God is an important part of the team, to praise God for the wonderful ways in which He always watches over us and the miracles He has granted our colleagues, and to ask God to help me remember that unless He is with my, my efforts are in vain, whatever it is that I am doing. Then I will move on to contemplation, my favorite part of the day, letting God take over the direction in which my relationship with Him moves.

I will leave you now to your prayer and contemplation. First, though, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I think you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts. (During the week, he also posts great homilies and other thoughtful discussions. I enjoy reading those, too, as do readers of this blog who have taken the stroll over to his blog.)

For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs on my sidebar and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

"Goodnight, God"

Doah has been sleeping on our couch while we are waiting to find a new group home for him. (That event may be very soon, ilhamdu Allah/Thank God.) Last night I spent time on the couch beside him, perseverating on computer work until the wee hours of the morning, unlike on the weekday nights when I usually tumble into bed before Doah goes to sleep because I have to get up early and go to work -- and, of course, for now, he does not.

It has been years since I have watched Doah go to sleep. As a child, he would make a nest of blankets under my desk and sleep there. As a mentally challenged child, he did not think of the world in the same terms as those around him, and I always wondered what his teachers thought of us as parents if he told them that he slept in a nest!

Since Doah was right beside me, I could see him drifting off to sleep as his breathing slowed and became regular. Right before he totally zonked out, I heard him whisper, "Goodnight, God." Then he was unwakeably asleep for the rest of the night.

Once he no longer slept in a nest, I no longer observed him falling asleep -- and it has been years since his nesting days. So, I was unaware that he always says goodnight to God.

How funny! So do I! It must be in the genes!

I always say good morning to God, too. I consider it a prayer of sorts, albeit a very short one. I wonder if Doah, who is usually up before I am, does the same? I bet he does! After all, it's in the genes!

Monday Morning Meditation #14: And They Did As the Lord Commanded

All the (many) chapters I read this week from Exodus and Leviticus had to do with rules for living and worshipping, ranging from childbirth, circumcision, food, and cleansing, to tabernacle design and ways of making offerings. They seem intended for a different time although I know that at least Orthodox Jews follow these instructions carefully even today. Perhaps some day God will send someone to explain to me in what way these rules should be meaningful to me. Quite meaningful, however, was the frequent repetition of one phrase in various versions: "they did as the Lord commanded," "Moses did as God commanded," and so on. Whenever God gives Moses a reason for obedience, it is always some version of "because I am the Lord." It is sort of like a parent saying, "Do it because I told you to." In return, God promises the Israelites, whom He alternately refers to as His people and His servants, that if they obey His commandments, He will provide for all their needs. Further, and more excitingly, He says that He will be with them. ("And I will walk among you and will be your God, and ye shall be My people." Leviticus 26:12)

Reading: Exodus 35-40 and Leviticus.

Meditation: The specific rules aside, what all these passages taken in aggregate say to me is that we are to obey God, without question, in all things for one reason alone: He is God. I assume that since God opened His arms to non-Jews, then we, too, are both His servants and, if we love and obey Him, His people and that His promise to walk among us and provide for us if we obey Him works for us, too.

On a personal level, I have experienced both the requirement and the promise. God has given me a number of taskings, some of them quite difficult. The most difficult, however, was to call my mother. I was angry when I heard the words, "Call your mother."

I did not want to do that. I had not spoken to her for ten years. Asking me to call her seemed terribly unfair. She had been highly abusive to her eight children physically, the details of which I chronicled in my book, Blest Atheist, and when those children became adults, the abuse just changed into emotional abuse. Several of them caught her beating their children (her grandchildren) and ended up sending her away from their homes. Most of my siblings were not speaking to her at the time of my tasking.

I have no idea why God wanted me to call Ma, but while I at first argued, in the long run (it was not that much of a long run -- it took me about a week to find the number and make the call), I put aside my anger, put on my "ruthless trust" (to use Brendan Manning's term to describe The Ragamuffin's Path to God), and did it. I did it for the sole reason that God required it of me. (Explaining that to my mother was rather interesting, to say the least.)

First, I had to track down Ma's phone number. Since nearly no one was talking to her, it took some time to do that. Once I had retrieved the phone number, I still hesitated. I did not know what to say! What would you say to someone to whom you had not spoken for ten years? "How can I call her?" I asked God. "I have no idea what to say!"

A very quiet one word wafted through my mind, indicating an action that had not occurred to me: "Listen." Of course! I could listen. And that is what I did. I listened. For over an hour, I listened -- to a voice full of curiosity, eagerness to relate a decade of happenings, and elation. Perhaps that is about as close as Ma can get to love.

I still do not completely understand the tasking to call Ma. Nor can I directly track any one blessing -- I have received so many! -- to the act of calling her. The only thing I can say is that I "did as the Lord commanded," and I am glad I did so for no other reason than that He is Lord. I love being His servant and hope that one day He will say that I am one of His people.

And that is far as I can go with you on this Monday morning. I must retire to prayer to ask God to keep on tasking me for His taskings ultimately bring me great satisfaction, to repent for all the taskings I have missed or done poorly, to give thanks for all the ways in which God has indeed provided for me, and to offer praise for the ways in which He orders my world.

After that, I will spend some time in contemplation, open to any "walking" together with which He is willing to bless me. The joy of His presence surpasses any other happiness I have ever experienced.

I will now leave you to your prayer and contemplation, but first, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts.

For inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of inspirational blogs that follow the enumeration of Monday Morning Meditations on the right-hand side of this blog and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

Have a good day and a week enriched by the presence of God. May you be blessed by opportunities to do His bidding, and may you do that well.

If you pick this up as a weekly devotional activity, please share with me and others your own thoughts about the message of Exodus 35-57 and Leviticus or any other scripture that you choose for meditation. Feel free to copy the image of the mission church; maybe some time in the near future my Internet-inept self will be able to figure out how to use the Mr. Linky buttons, but to date I remain incompetent at the more sophisticated blog stuff. Yes, I know it has been 14 weeks, but I am exceptionally computer-inept. In the interim, you are welcome to use the image and share the meme of Monday Morning Meditation for starting out the work week closer to God.

Monday Morning Meditation #8: Certainly, God Will Be With Us

Another week has passed, and in slow manner, I have finished another chapter. Moses has now grown up and is tending sheep when he sees a bush on fire but not being consumed. Intrigued, he checks it out to find God there with a tasking for him.

What is it that they say about curiosity? Well, I'm sure God would have found him one way or another, anyway. I have learned that when God has a tasking for you, there is no way out except to do it, and that seems to be what Moses found out.

Moses found out something else, too: if God tasks us, we have help. God never abandons us to carry out the tasking unaided. Obviously taken aback and feeling inadequate to the task, Moses asked God, "Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?" to which God replies, "Certainly, I will be with thee."

Reading: Exodus 3: 11-12.

Meditation: Reading this passage, I immediately recalled the moment 16 years ago that I was tasked with rescuing a dying child artist from a remote little townlet in Siberia. Shura, a young teenager with spina bifida in a part of the world that had nearly no antibiotics, was already a published author and artist when I first heard about him. He had had two exhibits of his art work at the renown Dom uchenykh (House of Scientists), and a documentary film had been made of his life. I have no idea what Shura's role is supposed to be in this world. Nor does he. However, God clearly wants him alive. The number of miracles, serendipities, and downright people-pushing that God did on Shura's behalf is mind-boggling. I cannot relate them all here because there are so many. I will at some future time (not distant future) post Shura's fuller story on The Clan of Mahlou blogspot, but that will have to wait for now because the story has so many details. The story is the framework for the first two parts (of three) of Blest Atheist; obviously, it is a complex story. (Where God gets so highly involved, I don't think complexity and mystery is avoidable.)

Here are the major ones:

1. I was introduced to Shura's plight by his godmother in a serendipitous meeting in Krasnoyarsk, where she was the head of a delegation of teachers from Shura's home town, Akademgorodok, who attended a two-week seminar I was teaching at the behest of the Siberian Regional Ministry of Education. It turns out that we had a common mentor -- my consultant at the Academy of Sciences in Akademgorodok had been her graduate advisor at Novosibirsk State University.

2. It quickly became clear that I was supposed to take care of Shura. God did not seem to care that I was an atheist at the time. He tasked me, and I had no choice but to obey. (Well, I suppose I did have a choice, but I kept getting pushed so hard that I simply became caught up in a whirlwind of miracles with no time to think about backing out -- some of that story can be found in an excerpt from my book on Mahlou Musings.) People would tell me that I was being used. When I would remonstrate that this was not possible because I was an atheist and believed that everything that was happening was a matter of coincidence, they would tell me to hush and just keep following along, and basically that is what I did, not even knowing why I did it.

3. God prepared me with the basic skills I would need: the ability to speak Russian (at one time, my major in graduate school) and the knowledge of spina bifida care (my younger daughter Noelle being a child with spina bifida). In fact, Noelle's doctor in Washington, DC was the person who was most instrumental in helping to get Shura into the US, filling out all the embassy's medical documentation. Clearly God started that preparation long before I ever heard about Shura, who was born half a world away a year after Noelle.

4. When the consular officer at the US Embassy refused to give Shura a visa, two diplomats stepped forward on my behalf (for Shura). They were my former students. More pre-planning?

5. When US hospitals would not operate on Shura without a $50K deposit and evidence that we would be able to pay the anticipated $500K bill (it turned out to be closer to a million dollars), we went looking for funds and were directed to a billionaire, John Kluge, who responded with a check for $500K (and later with another for the same amount) and tickets to the hospital of his choice, University of Virginia Hospital. We later learned that we had sent our plea to an unforwardable address in Virginia (a follow-up thank-you letter was returned to us), and yet within three days Mr. Kluge had received it at his correct address in New York. Moreover, the clinic coordinator at UVA Hospital was a former art instructor -- she recognized Shura's talent and was able to get him a residency at the Virginia Center for Creative Arts. She also took him into her home when it became clear that he would be spending more time in Virginia than in California; she had a son the same age, and the two boys became friends. During his stay in the hospital and after, Shura was befriended by a cardiac surgeon from the Ukraine who spoke Russian and was on an internship at UVA Hospital. The surgeon acted as Shura's interpreter and advocate and, later, American father. He even got eventually got US residency although that had seemed impossible when we first met him. Hah! Nothing turned out to be impossible in Shura's case. I have found that when God lets you be part of His miracles, the word, impossible, disappears from your vocabulary.

6. At a Tuesday evening pre-surgery moleibin (special intentions prayer during mass) for Shura at the Russian Orthodox Church in Washington DC, we met the overseer of the INS. He had worked late, knew that there was a mass that day, and "for some reason" felt compelled to stop in on his way home. He had not been in that church for over a year because he had moved his residence to Baltimore and attended church there. I am told that since that evening 16 years ago he has not been back. This wonderful man introduced himself after the mass, gave us his card, and offered to help in any way and ultimately assisted in getting Shura the long-term permission to stay in the USA that he needed to ensure his good health. We thought that he was a very special Good Samaritan. We only learned how very special he was several months ago with the publication of a book about an unusual icon and the identification of this man's son as the recipient of an incredible miracle. The boy had become blind, and his parents, ethnically Jews and spiritually atheists, were desperate to help him in any way possible. Grasping for straws, when they heard that the icon that weeps myrrh and causes healing would be at a church nearby (the same church that conducted Shura's moleibin), they took their son there. Myrrh flowed and gushed onto the floor. The priest anointed the boy's eyes with it, and the boy saw. The parents converted on the spot. Years later, the father was able to pass on God's blessing to his blind son by helping Shura, the lame son of another man.

There is much more to the story and even a follow-on story of a blind orphan with brain tumors who will be coming to the US as a result of her benefactor learning about Shura, contacting me, and my experience in working visas through the embassy coming to the rescue. The Russian doctors had given Katya of Tula only five years to live, and she wanted to die with relatives, the only ones she has being two brothers who were adopted by a family in New Hampshire a dozen years ago. Just when it seemed that it would be impossible to bring Katya to the USA all of the key players (the benefactor, me, my connections with and at the US Embassy, and Katya's nurse) all ended up in Moscow last August 6. None of us knew in advance that any of the others would be there, and I personally had earlier had no reason to go to Moscow, but suddenly I was needed as a consultant for an educational matter there. Subsequently, when Katya's Russian doctor refused to sign the paperwork to allow her to travel, that doctor mysteriously disappeared from the clinic and a new, more helpful doctor appeared in her place. Katya will be here soon, and now, after consultation with doctors in Boston, it appears that she may be coming to the USA not to die but to live. The doctors in Boston think that they can remove all the tumors.

There is too much complexity to these stories to include all the details here. I would simply ask two questions: (1) Could anyone of sound mind claim that all of these things were mere coincidence? and (2) assuming that this was a tasking from God, is there any doubt that He kept the same promise that He made to Moses: "Certainly, I will be with thee."

And that is far as I can go with you on this Monday morning. I must retire to prayer to ask God to keep using me for these marvelous plans of His to help the people of this world for I so very much enjoy being part of those plans, to express my regret for any and all pushes, nudges, and opportunities that I have missed as a result of my sometimes contrary and somewhat obtuse nature, to give thanks for these waves of miracles which God has washed over so many people in the cases of Shura and Katya alone, and to offer praise for the unimaginably skillful way in which God works to bring good from bad, to network dozens of people and institutions to help just one injured lamb, and to make the unbelievable real.

After that, I will spend some time in contemplation with this wonderful God who does not care who we are, who will use even an atheist to help the hurt and lost, who equips us to accomplish whatever task He has set before us, and who is with us every step of the way, moving forests, mountains, and every other obstacle so that we might complete His tasking successfully and in full confidence that our trust in Him is never misplaced.

I will now leave you to your prayer and contemplation.

If you pick this up as a weekly devotional activity, please share with me and others your own thoughts about the message of Exodus 3: 11-12 or any other scripture that you choose for meditation. Feel free to export the image of the mission church; maybe some time in the near future my Internet-inept self will be able to figure out how to use the Mr. Linky buttons. In the interim, perhaps you are welcome to use the image and share the meme of Monday Morning Meditation for starting out the work week closer to God.

Have a good day and a blessed week, filled with all good things -- and may God task you with something wonderful! No need to fear: He will be with you. He has promised it.