Monday Morning Meditation #64: Unless God Is With Us, All Is In Vain

These psalms are very intriguing. I had thought that perhaps I would polish off the remaining 25 or so this week, but no, I got hung up on the very next one, Psalm 127. Like so many of the other psalms, it is short and powerful. Like so many other psalms, it rings as true today as it did centuries ago. Like so many of the other psalms, it hit home, hard, beginning with verse 1, which reads:

Unless the LORD builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.

Unless God is with us, whatever we do is in vain. Moreover, without God, we are vulnerable. The imagery is perfect for expressing these thoughts.

Reading: Psalm 127

Meditation: An immediate application of this psalm to my personal life thudded into my consciousness with two feet hitting the ground, one foot being my life and work before conversion and the other being my life and work after conversion. I like to think that I have always been a good boss, not only in the sense of success but also in the sense of being supportive to employees. However, there is a different sense and feel to my experiences before and after conversion.

Before conversion, I had an excellent reputation for running a well oiled, competent, and productive enterprise where people are capable and generally happy. They felt empowered, primarily because I learned early on how to delegate, mentor, and empower. People were bonded, especially to me and to whatever organization I happened to be at. Sometimes we were bonded through fighting together against the establishment idiocies; other times we were bonded through vision and plans. I knew little about people's personal lives, with a few exceptions. That is as it should have been, I thought at the time. After all, we were at work to accomplish a professional mission, and we did that with rewarding success. What more could a manager want?

After conversion, I have an excellent reputation for running a well oiled, competent, and productive enterprise where people are capable, clearly happy, and at peace. They say that they feel empowered because they know I trust them, care about them, and will take the time needed to develop them. People are bonded not only to me but also to each other. While there are frustrations and goals to be accomplished, and while the establishment still takes some stances that appear idiotic to us, our bonds are not built in an us-against-them effort but in a loving approach that takes the starting point that everyone at all levels of our organization wants the mission to succeed and is basically a good person, that every person is needed and essential, and that we all need each other in very special ways at special times. I knew a lot about people's personal lives now. You see, people now use my open door policy not just to discuss work issues but also to share their personal concerns, insecurities, philosophies, needs, desires, and friendship. They even, at times, ask for prayer; those who are Christian sometimes they want me to pray with them. They talk to me about their families, their colleagues (how to love them better and work wtih them more effectively and harmoniously), and, in surprisingly more cases than one might think, regardless of their brand of religion, about their relationship with God. That is as it should have be in an organization where God's present is desired and felt. We have had prayed so often for one colleague or another, and we have had far more than our fair share of miracles.

I have found the answer to my unasked pre-conversion question, what more could a manager want? A manager could want God's presence in building the house and guarding the city. Ironically, the organization I built without God's help was dismantled by human hands four years later. This organization I am currently building with God's help may also be dismantled by human hands at some point in the future (although with 125% growth every year for the past five years, I don't think that is going happen any time soon), but if it is, what will not be dismantled is the house we are all building together with God's help. Some employees have retired during the past five years and some have moved on to other positions that pay more, but most have stayed in touch. Most are still willing to lend a helping hand, a sympathetic ear, a plaintive prayer. There has been set done a foundation that supports not just the work mission but also and more importantly the human condition.

Contemplation: That is far as I can go with you this Monday morning. I now retire to private prayer, repenting for those pre-conversion days when I mistakenly thought it all depended on me and pridefully thought that I could build an organization without God's help, to thank God for being with me and my colleagues as we strive to build not just a work organization but a workplace where God is an important part of the team, to praise God for the wonderful ways in which He always watches over us and the miracles He has granted our colleagues, and to ask God to help me remember that unless He is with my, my efforts are in vain, whatever it is that I am doing. Then I will move on to contemplation, my favorite part of the day, letting God take over the direction in which my relationship with Him moves.

I will leave you now to your prayer and contemplation. First, though, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I think you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts. (During the week, he also posts great homilies and other thoughtful discussions. I enjoy reading those, too, as do readers of this blog who have taken the stroll over to his blog.)

For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs on my sidebar and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

Monday Morning Meditation #61: I Lift Up My Eyes unto the Hills

When I reached Psalm 121 this week, it was clear what this Monday morning's meditation would be about for I had just come across one of my two favorite psalms (the other being Psalm 23, which I think is a favorite for many people). Raised in the foothills of the White Mountains in Maine and New Hampshire, spending the first years of married life in the Bitteroot Mountains of Montana, working recently for two blessed years in the holy hills of Jordan (in the shadow of Mount Nebo), and now sheltered in my current residence by the California coastal mountains, I find hills of any sort to be as essential to my being as the Swiss Alps were to Heidi's of literary fame. The psalm evokes the sense of security, safety, and peace that I feel in the mountains.

Reading: Psalm 121

Meditation: San Ignatio is surrounded by hills, gentle slopes that rise enough into the sky to be considered small mountains but not great summits. As such, they exude an atmosphere of friendliness, like the hand of God reaching out to say, "Here I am; come nearer." I see these hills every day. In the winter and spring, when they are sprinkled with raindrops, they are great folds of green carpets rising toward the sun. When the rain has sunk below the roots of the grass, they become the golden hills of our summer and fall. Whether they are green or gold, I can look upon them and know that my help comes from just beyond them, from God, who pours out love with the sunshine and with the rain. When I take my constitution, lately less daily than it should be, I often find myself reciting Psalm 121, as I look upon the hills.

Here, indeed, I find my help. Here, too, I find that God never sleeps. The sun by day and the moon by night in our clear sky remind me of God's presence, love, and kindness. Here I feel secure.

A few years ago, when I was leaving RCIA, Fr. Greg stood at the door as I was leaving, as if waiting. When I asked what he was waiting for, he said he was watching me go to me car. "Well," I told him, "I hope you have extraordinary distance vision because I walked."

"In that case," he responded, "be careful that you are not attacked on your way back."

Now why he would ever think that anything like that would happen in San Ignatio, I don't know, but then he was in interim priest and did not live here. "I'm not worried," I explained to him. "I feel protected."

In an oddly quiet voice that seemed to come from a sudden understanding, he nearly whispered, "I believe you are." I believe I am, too. Were I to have had any thoughts to the contrary, the day that Lizzie and I escaped from being stalked by three stone 20-somethings would have put those thoughts to rest.

Contemplation: That is far as I can go with you this Monday morning. I now retire to private prayer, repenting for the to many times recently that I have skipped my daily walk because I was too busy, to thank God for always being with me even when I am not with Him and for protecting from all that would harm me, to praise God for His faithfulness as do so many of the psalms leading up to Psalm 121, and to ask Him to protect all my friends and acquaintances and those of His children whom I do not know in the same wonderful way He has protected me. Then I will move on to contemplation, my favorite part of the day, letting God take over the direction in which my relationship with Him moves.

I will leave you now to your prayer and contemplation. First, though, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts. (During the week, he also posts great homilies and other thoughtful discussions. I enjoy reading those, too.)


For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs on my sidebar and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

Monday Morning Meditation #58: Let's Not Restrain Our Lips

This week I have once again continued on with the psalms and quickly came across a psalm, Psalm 40, that resonated with me. Those who have read my conversion story (which, ironically, I linked in yesterday's post, Spiritual Sunday) will understand the source of the resonance. Since the purpose of MMM is to share my reaction to what I read, not to explain the content in any kind of learned fashion (which is well beyond my set of competences, anyway), I am going to ignore much of the psalm, along with its intent, for I lament nothing about my life either as it is or as it was. So, I shall focus on the words that pulled me in, words that I am taking out of context but which have great meaning for me:

I have proclaimed the good news of righteousness
In the great assembly;
Indeed, I do not restrain my lips,
O LORD, You Yourself know.
I have not hidden
Your righteousness within my heart;
I have declared Your faithfulness and Your salvation;
I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth
From the great assembly.

Reading: Psalm 40

Meditation: As an extrovert, I have rarely restrained my lips even when perhaps I should. As an atheist, I was outspoken in my atheism. Once I came to faith, I became outspoken in my belief. The shock wave from my conversion rippled worldwide through the circles in which I traveled. It seems to be still rippling for once in a while I still get a letter from someone who knew me as an atheist and has heard my conversion story.

I have no idea who David's "great assembly" was. I do know who the "great assembly" is in my life, and that includes my place of work. Restraining my lips is required there for we adhere to separation of church and state. Nonetheless, there is a way of sharing God's loving kindness without words, with our behavior, which can be every bit as good as and perhaps even better than our words. "Preach the gospel always; when necessary, use words," a saying frequently attributed to St. Francis although some think it unlikely that it came from him and others mark its appearance as occurring two centuries after St. Francis died, is potent advice for it is often more powerful to demonstrate our faith than to express it. I have found that many understand the depth of my faith without my uttering a word, and so, in a sense, I have not restrained my lips -- and when they mention it, then I can freely speak.

As for the general community, if one were to consider that my "great assembly," then sharing God's love is one of my greatest pleasures. With that assembly, I do not "restrain my lips."

Regardless of which "assembly" I find myself, there is one characteristic that dominates. I cannot hide all that God does for me and for those around me on a daily basis, all that God means to me, and the love that flows in both directions. Can you?

Contemplation: That is far as I can go with you this Monday morning. I must retire to private prayer, repenting for times that I have restrained my lips when I should have spoken out with fervor. I will praise God for all that he has given me to share, thank him for the opportunities to do that, and ask for more opportunities and second chances to keep nothing hidden of His grace. Then I will move on to contemplation, my favorite part of the day, letting God take over the direction in which my relationship with Him moves.

I will leave you now to your prayer and contemplation. First, though, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts. (During the week, he also posts great homilies and other thoughtful discussions. I enjoy reading those, too.)


For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs on my sidebar and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

Monday Morning Meditation #56: May the Lord Grant All Your Requests (Not)

This week I have continued on with the psalms, reading Psalms 11-20. What a gift these wonderful prayers of David are! I have savored every one of them. Still, not one prompted me to put pen to paper until I came to Psalm 20. In this psalm, I think David's pleas to God for the king reflect what every person would like: for God to answer all of our prayers, every single one of them, giving us everything we would like to have.

For the king, David says, "May the Lord answer you when you are in distress...May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed...May the Lord grant all your requests." Earlier, in speaking about himself (Psalm 11), David bemoans, "Why, oh, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" This is what we all want, right? We want God to rush to our rescue any time that we are in trouble and solve our problem with the precise solution that we seek. Oh, and beyond that, we want him to give us everything we desire. That would make our lives perfect, wouldn't it? That, for sure, is what many, if not most, of my teenage catechism students think -- and when this does not happen, they begin to question the existence of God.

Reading: Psalm 20

Meditation: I have frequently run into people who complain that God is not listening because they have laid some request before God that God has not granted, that God is not therefore a personal God. Or, perhaps they do eventually get what they have requested but have had to wait a long time before getting it.

The former complaint is one with which it is difficult for me to empathize. Since I converted rarely late in life, I have had a history of self-reliance and not blaming God when things go wrong, for five decades because I did not know that God existed, and more recently, post-conversion, because I have few desires. There is almost nothing that I could not live without -- except, of course, for my friends and relatives, especially my kids. Further, over time, I have learned that my solutions are not always the best solutions. My personal experience with God has been one of continuous surprise. I was initially surprised by His presence when I unwittingly challenged Him to let me feel His presence. Then, when I analyzed my life to date in the writing of Blest Atheist, I realized that God had been present at many times when things were difficult; I remembered many deus ex machina moments and many times that good things came from bad experiences. Most important, in my life, anyway, is the ways in which God has answered prayer -- His solutions have been far more brilliant than anything I could possibly dream up, a case in point being the time that Doah ended up in court, with the only possible results seemingly dire. Clearly, God knows best, and I would not want to get all my desires. I prefer to get God's desires for me. His desires are considerably more appropriate, much better, and more exciting than what my desires are or might be.

As for the latter complaint, God not rushing in the minute we ask or following our time frame, I always think about my friend, Omar, a Syrian poet, who wrote an entire book of poetry about waiting, the value of waiting, and God's various purposes in asking us to wait. (I wrote a short piece on it, too: "Esperando.") I do know that things seem sweeter after having waited for them, and I imagine that everyone, like me, has encountered the experience in which we received something after a long wait only to find it less desirable than we thought: there was greater excitement in anticipation than in reception. In fact, I strongly believe that often the journey is more important than the destination, and I have come to appreciate and even enjoy the journey.

Contemplation: That is far as I can go with you this Monday morning. I must retire to private prayer, repenting for ever thinking that my desires might be more important than God's desires for me. I will thank God for what He has not given me and the prayers He has not answered when my requests have not been in accord with my own best interests. I will praise God for His ability to present solutions that are brilliantly appropriate, better, and more delighting than anything I could think to want. As for petitions, I think I shall simply ask for more patience in waiting; that, after all, is not simple at all. Then I will spend as much time as I can in contemplation, my favorite part of the day, letting God take over the direction in which my relationship with Him moves.

I will leave you to your prayer and contemplation. First, though, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts. (During the week, he also posts great homilies and other thoughtful discussions. I enjoy reading those, too.)

For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs on my sidebar and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

Monday Morning Meditation #53: What Is Man That God Should Be Mindful of Him?

This week I began to read the Psalms. What joy! I love the Psalms! Is there anyone who does not? The first few psalms were ones of anguish, with David being pursued by enemies and asking for God to help and protect him. Then, in Psalm 8, David gives praise to the Lord, and after that, he asks a very interesting question, "What is man that You are mindful of him?" Indeed, what is man that God is mindful of him?

Reading: Psalm 8

Meditation: In recent days, I have been blogging a bit about humility. This probably comes in great part from discussions on humility I have been having at work with employees whom I mentor and whose lack of humility is getting in the way of their promotability. Hubris wins no friends and builds no teams. Yes, there are hubristic managers -- and hubristic employees, but the pride is false, built on a crumbling foundation of overblown self-perception. Those who stand on that "unfoundation" are more likely than not to fall.

So where does the need to put ourselves first come from? Why do we want to be the first in line? Why do we want to rise to the top at the office or in our profession? Why must our children be better than our friends' children? Why do we become defensive when someone criticizes us? And where does our relationship with God fit in all of this jockeying for position? Who, indeed, are we that God should be mindful of us?

He has given us two great commandments: love Him and love each other. Neither gives us a basis or need for pushing ourselves past others. We don't have to earn God's love; we already have it. We don't have to prove ourselves in order to receive God's grace; He gives it without our even asking for it.

God exhorts us to be humble, to be meek, to put others first. He gave us an extraordinary example: Himself. (I highly recommend Ilia Delio's book, The Humility of God.) While the possibility of our emulating His example at any deep level is highly unlikely, the possibility of His leading us to the level of humility of which we are capable is very likely -- if only we allow Him to take over and eliminate the unholy parts of our ego.

Contemplation: That is far as I can go with you this Monday morning. I must retire to private prayer to thank God for being mindful of us, to praise Him for His wonderful and unemulatable example of humility, to repent for any time that pride has tained my relations, especially my relationship with Him, and to ask Him to peel off all my layers of pride and leave my ego bare, devoid of any build-up to to deter my ability to be a good servant to my colleagues, my employees, my family, my friends, and God. Then I will spend as much time as I can in contemplation, my favorite part of the day, letting God take over the direction in which my relationship with Him moves, knowing that I could have no better Protector.

I will leave you to your prayer and contemplation. First, though, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts. (During the week, he also posts great homilies and other thoughtful discussions. I enjoy reading those, too.)

For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs on my sidebar and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

2010: A New Beginning

Now that is about as mundane a title for a new year's post as there possibly could be. Except... This morning when I picked up the Bible for a lectio divina that I try to do each morning (although I do not always succeed), it fell open by chance to Psalm 78, "A New Beginning in Zion and David." A long psalm, Psalm 78 was not one with which I was previously familiar. It gives quite a wonderful recounting of the past, where God was present, what God did, and how the people sinned, and ends with change and hope for the future. Wouldn't it be a wonderful beginning to this year to recount our past, remembering the moments where God was with us, what God did for us, and how we sinned, and ending with a resolution for change and knowledge that we do have a reason for hope?

Perhaps 2010 will be a year that is different from past years. At least, it started that way for me. First, there was the blue moon! And then Donnie and I welcomed in the year together. Now, we were doing that quietly at home, which sounds pretty routine. Except...This is the first time in 40 years that I have been awake at midnight on New Year's Eve!

I just returned from New Year Mass and am delighted that I still have a half-day left without having to report to work, just in time to wish all of you Happy New Year! Best wishes for blessings and a gentle year!

Note: Blue moon photo by Ernest Coleman
. 2010 photo from Associated Press, Taiwan.