Monday Morning Meditation #18: Arrogance Leads to Destruction

Much like the Jews in the wilderness whose story fills the Book of Numbers, I am still wandering through this book. I found Chapter 16 fascinating because I see so much in common between the ancient Jews and my modern peers. In this chapter, 250 people, led by a man named Korah, rise up against Moses and Aaron, and, by extension, against God. Their complaint is two-fold: (1) they are every bit as holy as Moses and Aaron and should have direct access to God, and (2) Moses (and, again by extension, God) has failed to bring them to a land of milk and honey). This angers God. Moses begs God to have mercy to these men and especially not to punish all the Jews for the sins of a few. When all is over, the Jews as a whole are spared by their leaving the tents of the rebellious leaders, as God demands through Moses, but the 250 who led the rebellion perish for their arrogance.

Reading: Numbers 16

Meditation: While there were a number of emotions floating around the Israeli camps, the one that seemed to permeate the most as I read this chapter is arrogance. Arrogance is an emotion that I see a lot at work. It is the most typical downfall of the junior and senior managers who work in my directorate and the topic that I address most frequently at leadership development meetings that I lead (or that I bring in others to lead). When I arrived at the directorate as its head nearly four years ago, I introduced servant leadership as the leadership approach across divisions -- rather unhappy divisions, I would note. In the past four years, as we all have become more skilled at being servants to our employees and as our employees through our regular reverse evaluations become more skilled at pointing out where we, their managers, are failing to be good servants, the unhappiness in the various divisions has turned to deep-seated satisfaction and happiness that even visitors find palpable. Still, I have a few programs whose managers just don't get it, and their employees are the ones who most frequently take advantage of my open-door policy to complain. The core issue with these managers has little to do with doing things right. Most are very good at doing things right; on the other hand, they, at times, are not willing to do the right thing when it would mean throwing out the rule book. The core issue is their arrogance in thinking that they are "in charge" and, therefore, they determine how things work. They seek power to make themselves feel important. What they don't understand is that

- managers are never truly in charge; the employees who do the critical work are really the ones in charge;

- power held is always weak; power given away (authority granted to employees) grows exponentially in direct proportion to the amount given away;

- when, through the arrogance that emanates from some sense of our greater worth or skill, we hold all leadership decision-making unto ourselves, we deprive God of the opportunity to be the true leader in our organizations for God, as we have seen in this passage, chooses to work through humble and obedient people and, at best, lets arrogant people do themselves in; the reality is that we are not just as good as God at leadership, and when we turn leadership over to God and do it His way, incredibly marvelous things happen, like the development of whole divisions that love each other and love coming to work and even, upon some occasions, real miracles. (I would note here that leadership and relationships in our families and communities does not differ much from leadership and relationships at work.)

There is another aspect to arrogance that comes out of this chapter: the arrogance that comes from expecting God to answer our prayers in the way we want at the time we want, as did those that complained that they had not yet seen the promised land and therefore they had no desire to follow Moses any longer. That arrogance assumes that God is required to live up to our requirements, that we know better than God what is best for us. God not answering prayer in the way they desire is one of the greatest complaints I hear from the teens in my catechism classes. The concept that God sometimes says "no" is something that even adults sometimes have trouble accepting. Yet, often we find a better answer when we don't tell God what to do but simply turn over our problem to Him (and don't take it back). Yes, bad things do happen, and people, including children, do die, but we cannot assume in arrogance to judge that God should have intervened. Only God knows when intervention is warranted and when it is not. We have to trust that He knows what we do not.

And that is far as I can go with you on this Monday morning. I must retire to prayer to ask God to show me how to let Him always be in charge and to nudge me to check myself for arrogance regularly, to repent for all those times I have made a leadership or even personal decision without first asking for His guidance, to give thanks for all the many ways He helps me on a daily basis at work and at home, and to offer praise for the way in which He resolves problems in ways that far surpass my abilities and even comprehension.

After that, I will spend some time in contemplation, open to any lessons on humility He wishes to teach me, no matter how difficult they may be. (I have had some experience with His lessons.) I especially welcome His leadership in my life and at my work. I love the way in which He takes care of the people in my directorate, sometimes even protecting them from bad decisions I make when I forget to ask for His help, and in my family and community.

I will now leave you to your prayer and contemplation, but first, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts.

For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of inspirational blogs that follow the enumeration of Monday Morning Meditations on the sidebar of this blog and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

Have a good day and a good week, remembering in all things to do humbly whatever God requires of you. May you be blessed by His love and His aid as you do so.

Monday Morning Meditation #18: Arrogance Leads to Destruction

Much like the Jews in the wilderness whose story fills the Book of Numbers, I am still wandering through this book. I found Chapter 16 fascinating because I see so much in common between the ancient Jews and my modern peers. In this chapter, 250 people, led by a man named Korah, rise up against Moses and Aaron, and, by extension, against God. Their complaint is two-fold: (1) they are every bit as holy as Moses and Aaron and should have direct access to God, and (2) Moses (and, again by extension, God) has failed to bring them to a land of milk and honey). This angers God. Moses begs God to have mercy to these men and especially not to punish all the Jews for the sins of a few. When all is over, the Jews as a whole are spared by their leaving the tents of the rebellious leaders, as God demands through Moses, but the 250 who led the rebellion perish for their arrogance.

Reading: Numbers 16

Meditation: While there were a number of emotions floating around the Israeli camps, the one that seemed to permeate the most as I read this chapter is arrogance. Arrogance is an emotion that I see a lot at work. It is the most typical downfall of the junior and senior managers who work in my directorate and the topic that I address most frequently at leadership development meetings that I lead (or that I bring in others to lead). When I arrived at the directorate as its head nearly four years ago, I introduced servant leadership as the leadership approach across divisions -- rather unhappy divisions, I would note. In the past four years, as we all have become more skilled at being servants to our employees and as our employees through our regular reverse evaluations become more skilled at pointing out where we, their managers, are failing to be good servants, the unhappiness in the various divisions has turned to deep-seated satisfaction and happiness that even visitors find palpable. Still, I have a few programs whose managers just don't get it, and their employees are the ones who most frequently take advantage of my open-door policy to complain. The core issue with these managers has little to do with doing things right. Most are very good at doing things right; on the other hand, they, at times, are not willing to do the right thing when it would mean throwing out the rule book. The core issue is their arrogance in thinking that they are "in charge" and, therefore, they determine how things work. They seek power to make themselves feel important. What they don't understand is that

- managers are never truly in charge; the employees who do the critical work are really the ones in charge;

- power held is always weak; power given away (authority granted to employees) grows exponentially in direct proportion to the amount given away;

- when, through the arrogance that emanates from some sense of our greater worth or skill, we hold all leadership decision-making unto ourselves, we deprive God of the opportunity to be the true leader in our organizations for God, as we have seen in this passage, chooses to work through humble and obedient people and, at best, lets arrogant people do themselves in; the reality is that we are not just as good as God at leadership, and when we turn leadership over to God and do it His way, incredibly marvelous things happen, like the development of whole divisions that love each other and love coming to work and even, upon some occasions, real miracles. (I would note here that leadership and relationships in our families and communities does not differ much from leadership and relationships at work.)

There is another aspect to arrogance that comes out of this chapter: the arrogance that comes from expecting God to answer our prayers in the way we want at the time we want, as did those that complained that they had not yet seen the promised land and therefore they had no desire to follow Moses any longer. That arrogance assumes that God is required to live up to our requirements, that we know better than God what is best for us. God not answering prayer in the way they desire is one of the greatest complaints I hear from the teens in my catechism classes. The concept that God sometimes says "no" is something that even adults sometimes have trouble accepting. Yet, often we find a better answer when we don't tell God what to do but simply turn over our problem to Him (and don't take it back). Yes, bad things do happen, and people, including children, do die, but we cannot assume in arrogance to judge that God should have intervened. Only God knows when intervention is warranted and when it is not. We have to trust that He knows what we do not.

And that is far as I can go with you on this Monday morning. I must retire to prayer to ask God to show me how to let Him always be in charge and to nudge me to check myself for arrogance regularly, to repent for all those times I have made a leadership or even personal decision without first asking for His guidance, to give thanks for all the many ways He helps me on a daily basis at work and at home, and to offer praise for the way in which He resolves problems in ways that far surpass my abilities and even comprehension.

After that, I will spend some time in contemplation, open to any lessons on humility He wishes to teach me, no matter how difficult they may be. (I have had some experience with His lessons.) I especially welcome His leadership in my life and at my work. I love the way in which He takes care of the people in my directorate, sometimes even protecting them from bad decisions I make when I forget to ask for His help, and in my family and community.

I will now leave you to your prayer and contemplation, but first, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts.

For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of inspirational blogs that follow the enumeration of Monday Morning Meditations on the sidebar of this blog and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

Have a good day and a good week, remembering in all things to do humbly whatever God requires of you. May you be blessed by His love and His aid as you do so.

Monday Morning Meditation #13: What the Face Shows

Moving forward by two chapters in Exodus, I found a description of how Moses's face shone so brightly after being with God that the Israelites became afraid of him. There are no less than three mentions of this inner light beaming outward.

Reading: Exodus 34: 29-35

Meditation: I cannot but wonder by comparison how much of the inner light that God gives to us when we come to Him in prayer that we afterward beam out onto those with whom we come into contact. Can, indeed, anyone tell that we have been with God? Or do we keep it all locked up inside?

Somehow, the reading of this passage brings to me Hawthorne's story, "The Great Stone Face," in which Ernest, who lived in Franconia Notch, NH, had one wish above all others: to live long enough to meet the man who looked like the great stone face. Those of us who grew up in New Hampshire (I did, at least, part-time) knew the saying that just as cobblers hang out a shingle with the imprint of a shoe to show that they make shoes in their shop, so, too, did God hang out His shingle to show that that He makes men in New Hampshire. The legend of the Old Man in the Mountains, the rock formation similar to a man's face "with the sunshine brightening all its features" (Hawthorne's words) that stood high above a small pond for centuries before it fell to erosion about five years ago, said that some day a great man would appear, one that looked like the great stone face. Throughout Ernest's life, one person after another was heralded as fulfilling that legend, but when he looked at them none did. People moved out; people moved in. Ernest grew up to minister to them. A very humble man, he asked for little and gave much in return. His riches were in his love for others. Always he watched and waited for the coming of the man who would look like the great stone face, but none did. Near the end of his life, as Ernest was delivering an outdoors sermon with the mountains in the background, a poet noticed that it was the face of Ernest that resembled the great stone face. While Hawthorne leaves some things to our imagination, I can easily see the light beaming from Ernest's face, light that came from a lifetime of doing God's bidding and gathering the inner light that none of the grand visitors had ever beamed upon the people of the valley; hence, Ernest's inability to see the likeness in their visages. His humility prevented him from seeing his own.

So what do our faces show? For that matter, what does our behavior show? And what do our words show? Do they shine with God's love?

Fr. Terry, a local priest about whom I have blogged before, asks, "If people know you, would they want to know your God?" Well, would they?

For me, that answer is, often yes but sometimes no. I am working hard, with God's help, to get those no's removed!

And that is far as I can go with you on this Monday morning. I must retire to prayer to ask God to shine through me more, to repent for all lost chances to share God's love with those who might really have needed it, to give thanks for all the inner light He has given me, and to offer praise for the sunshine of His love that is so grand that it can fill the whole world, were the world to let it, and still have spare.

After that, I will spend some time in contemplation, open to any inner light God cares to give me for the minute, the hour, or the day. Being with Him, surrounded by His light and love, is the most joyful start to the day that I can imagine.

I will now leave you to your prayer and contemplation, but first, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation.

Have a good day and a spirit-filled week, and may you find the patience you need in dealing with others and the trust to wait for responses to prayers not yet answered.

If you pick this up as a weekly devotional activity, please share with me and others your own thoughts about the message of Exodus 34: 29-35 or any other scripture that you choose for meditation. Feel free to copy the image of the mission church; maybe some time in the near future my Internet-inept self will be able to figure out how to use the Mr. Linky buttons, but to date I remain incompetent at the more sophisticated blog stuff. Yes, I know it has been 13 weeks, but I am exceptionally computer-inept. In the interim, you are welcome to use the image and share the meme of Monday Morning Meditation for starting out the work week closer to God.

Monday Morning Meditation #12: An Impatient People

This week, ploughing through chapters of Exodus that contain the laws that God gave to His people, I recognized the initial corpus of regulations for British common law upon which US law rests. Informative enough to require reflection!

After wondering whether I was being set up to become an overnight lawyer, I reached the more interesting (to me) story of how the Israelites grew tired of waiting for Moses -- there were, after all, a lot of laws being handed down -- and coerced Aaron into making a golden calf for them to worship. Of course, God was angry. Moses was so angry that he broke the tablets containing the Ten Commandments.

Reading: Exodus 32: 1-6

Meditation: I cannot help but see immense parallel between the Israelites' attitude and the attitude that I see on a daily basis, and, admittedly, even have at times adopted myself. The Israelites were not the only impatient people!

So many times I have heard people say that God did not answer their prayer. My catechism kids, for example, in their moments of greater skepticism will say that God does not care about them or will even question whether God exists because they did not get the answer to prayer that they wanted in precisely the manner they wanted at precisely the time that they wanted. Beyond understanding that "no" is a legitimate answer, they often need to be led to consider the possibilities that (1) God's answer will be better for them in the long run, (2) sometimes we want and ask for things that we should not have, and (3) that seemingly unanswered prayers may simply be prayers that have not been answered yet. I cannot recall not having a prayer answered, but I can recall longer waits than I would have liked and often getting answers I had not anticipated -- better answers, more creative answers, la chose juste that is beyond my capacity to conceive even though I am an inveterate out-of-the-box thinker. (My daughter, Lizzie, insists that I have not yet found the box.)

Deep down we know that patience is a virtue. Don't many of us pray for patience? But, as the joke goes, don't we often tell God that we want more patience, and we want it right now? Yes, we are an impatient people.

Sufis consider waiting to be a virtue that God requires of them. I have a Sufi friend, a poet, whose life has embodied this virtue and whose writing is filled with it. Deep down we, too, know the value of waiting. Don't we say that we often receive greater enjoyment in the anticipation than in the receiving of something? When we receive something for which we have long waited, don't we attach greater meaning to it? Ah, yes, we do that and know that, but nonetheless we are an impatient people.

And that is far as I can go with you on this Monday morning. I must retire to prayer to ask God for that proverbial patience, to express my regret for my daily moments of impatience, especially in those cases when I don't rein in or hide my impatience well in working with employees, to give thanks for God's great kindness in not becoming angry with me as with the Israelites (at least, I have never seen His anger, but then I have not yet made any golden calves -- fortunately, I don't have the gold, literal or allegorical, to do that), to offer praise for the ways in which He leads me to develop patience by the practice of waiting, and especially to tell Him that I know He spoils me far more often than I deserve (but I like it) by not making me wait very long at all.

After that, I will spend some time in contemplation, patiently abiding in His presence, which is the most joyful start to the day that I have ever experienced.

I will now leave you to your prayer and contemplation, but first, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation.

Have a good day and a spirit-filled week, and may you find the patience you need in dealing with others and the trust to wait for responses to prayers not yet answered.

If you pick this up as a weekly devotional activity, please share with me and others your own thoughts about the message of Exodus 32: 1-6 or any other scripture that you choose for meditation. Feel free to copy the image of the mission church; maybe some time in the near future my Internet-inept self will be able to figure out how to use the Mr. Linky buttons, but to date I remain incompetent at the more sophisticated blog stuff. In the interim, you are welcome to use the image and share the meme of Monday Morning Meditation for starting out the work week closer to God.

Monday Morning Meditation #11: Our Need for Others

I made it this week into the next chapter of Exodus, chapter 18. Compared to the previous three chapters, how enlightened the key players in this chapter are! Moses has now set himself up as a judge for the people, interpreting God's laws for them. Moses's father-in-law, Jethro, comes to Moses, learns what he is doing and how overworked he is, and makes a wise suggestion. He recommends to Moses that he find a number of wise, honest, God-fearing men and let them handle the smaller matters while he (Moses) takes on just the complicated cases, the ones that he might need to take to God for guidance.

Reading: Exodus 18

Meditation: I could not help but apply this situation to my own life many centuries later. So much is parallel. So little has changed through the ages. My first thought always used to be to try to do everything myself and, like Moses, become overworked, tired, and, in my case, less effective than I could have been.

It has taken much time and experience for me to learn to accomplish my work tasks through others, and indeed, I have been very fortunate, in finding experienced, capable, and loyal junior managers to help me at work. (I am not so sure that it is only good fortune for ALL of my current junior managers are believers -- mostly Catholic, some other Christian denominations, two Muslims, and one Jew. There are no atheists or agnostics among them. I do not believe that this combination would have happened without the hand of God leading the right applicants to my door.) Having such junior managers means that I do have to accept things that might be done differently than I would have done them myself and perhaps even less well than I think I might have been able to do them in the case of junior managers who are still learning the ropes. Far more important, however, having a team of people who live to honor God means that employees are treated in more humane ways than they otherwise might be, that these managers let God's direction lead them in helping employees, that employees are not reluctant to pray for each other, and that people love coming to work because even those individuals perceived as difficult people know that they will usually find love and support there.

Letting others help with my private life has come with a bit more difficulty. Most of my life, I have been a tiger, fighting for survival because I had to as a child, dealing with physical, sexual, and emotional abuse heaped upon me by adult relatives, watching my brother be stabbed, being forced to observe my pet cat being burned alive, and so forth. Cruelty unimaginable to most accompanied me all the days of my youth. So, I became a tiger. I survived.

Then, when my children introduced me to their giftedness, physical handicaps, and mental disabilities and I found not only immense lacks in the system to help them but also some strategically placed professionals who acted as obstacles to their well being, I became like a tiger with cubs: truly vicious at times. I cringe at some of the memories.

It has only been after getting to know God and trying to follow the path He has sent me down and understanding that it was He who led me out of the jungle that I have learned to relax, let Him lead, and, very important, allow, yea, even ask, others to help. What a difference that has made! I feel like I can calmly walk through the valley of the shadow of death, climb any mountain, and walk through any fire for He is with me every step of the way. Nothing else matters. I will probably always have that tiger spirit somewhere in me, but now it obeys the Lord. I guess it would not be unlike the wolf calming down and eating from the hand of St. Francis. My tiger lives, but it is meek for that is how God wants it to be.

And that is far as I can go with you on this Monday morning. I must retire to prayer to ask God to keep my tiger spirit meek and obedient, to express my regret for times in the past when I have roared and deliberately frightened others, to give thanks for God's great kindness in caring enough about me to tame my spirit, and to offer praise for the the many ways in which He protects me and mine every day so that I no longer feel the need for self-defense.

After that, I will spend some time in contemplation, hoping and trusting that this great God will continue to abide with and in me, keeping my tiger at peace.

I will now leave you to your prayer and contemplation, but first, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation.

Have a good day and a spirit-filled week, and may you find helpers for all your needs. (If I can be one, please let me know!)

If you pick this up as a weekly devotional activity, please share with me and others your own thoughts about the message of Exodus 18 or any other scripture that you choose for meditation. Feel free to export the image of the mission church; maybe some time in the near future my Internet-inept self will be able to figure out how to use the Mr. Linky buttons, but to date I remain incompetent at the more sophisticated blog stuff. In the interim, you are welcome to use the image and share the meme of Monday Morning Meditation for starting out the work week closer to God.

Monday Morning Meditation #9: Give Me Proof!

I may well be the slowest Bible reader in the world. Another week, another chapter. So many thoughts and images come to mind that I do not want to speed through anything. In chapter 4 of Exodus, which is where I have been living this week, there is much to think about. This is the story of Moses's encounter with God and God's request of him to go to the Pharaoh of Egypt and demand that the people of Israel be released. Quite a tasking, and Moses is a bit overwhelmed by it, as I assume anyone would be!

Reading: Exodus 4

Meditation: Reading this passage, I could not but notice Moses's concern that he had no proof that he had spoken with God. He feared that no one would believe him. Let's face it, if someone today were to relate a similar experience, there would be immense skepticism. No wonder those who have had an extraordinary spiritual experience become a little reluctant over time to relate it. (I have met people who have been favored in this way, but the skepticism with which they meet numbs their tongue, much in the way Moses's tongue was numbed such that Aaron had to speak for him.)

I, too, find myself cautious at moments about the experience I had in being overwhelmed by God's presence, but with God's support, I plunge into the story anyway. Some people believe me; some don't. It truly does not matter since I don't have to lead anyone across the Red Sea. I know what happened. God knows what happened. I share, and the rest is up to the listener/reader -- and God.

I find it interesting that people are more willing to suspend their disbelief (to use Aristotle's terminology) when it comes to all kinds of far-fetched tales related to psychic events, horror stories, fairy tales, and faulty journalism, but if the story is about God, they want proof. This statement is, of course, the pot calling the kettle black since I did test God (unfairly and with far greater temerity than I would now have) when I demanded that if He existed I wanted to feel His presence. (Whew! I have learned over time that His presence can be so overwhelming that it pins me to the spot, but you know, naivete will take you in directions that even angels fear to tread.) And then of course there were the two miracles I asked for as "proof." It only took one to chase me into church; however, God in his great kindness granted both, much as He gave Moses signs to give to the Pharaoh, has given me many miracles since, and has led me to see ones that He had blessed me with earlier but to which I had been blind. I no longer ask for proof, and I am embarrassed that I ever did -- but I guess God has run into that attitude more often not.

And that is far as I can go with you on this Monday morning. I must retire to prayer to ask God to increase the depth of my "willing suspension of disbelief," to express my regret for the times in the past that I demanded proof and, before then, when I failed to see even when I had proof right in front of my eyes, to give thanks for His great kindnesses to me in spite of not deserving them, and to offer praise for the depth of His patience and love even in the face of my disbelief and the disbelief of so many who have ultimately followed and obeyed Him.

After that, I will spend some time in contemplation, hoping and trusting that this great God will continue to infuse me with that which is difficult to believe -- and I will try to become better at believing.

I will now leave you to your prayer and contemplation.

If you pick this up as a weekly devotional activity, please share with me and others your own thoughts about the message of Exodus 4 or any other scripture that you choose for meditation. Feel free to export the image of the mission church; maybe some time in the near future my Internet-inept self will be able to figure out how to use the Mr. Linky buttons. In the interim, you are welcome to use the image and share the meme of Monday Morning Meditation for starting out the work week closer to God.

Have a good day and a blessed week, filled with all good things -- and may God increase your trust so that you do not need proof anymore (if indeed you ever did).

Monday Morning Meditation #8: Certainly, God Will Be With Us

Another week has passed, and in slow manner, I have finished another chapter. Moses has now grown up and is tending sheep when he sees a bush on fire but not being consumed. Intrigued, he checks it out to find God there with a tasking for him.

What is it that they say about curiosity? Well, I'm sure God would have found him one way or another, anyway. I have learned that when God has a tasking for you, there is no way out except to do it, and that seems to be what Moses found out.

Moses found out something else, too: if God tasks us, we have help. God never abandons us to carry out the tasking unaided. Obviously taken aback and feeling inadequate to the task, Moses asked God, "Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?" to which God replies, "Certainly, I will be with thee."

Reading: Exodus 3: 11-12.

Meditation: Reading this passage, I immediately recalled the moment 16 years ago that I was tasked with rescuing a dying child artist from a remote little townlet in Siberia. Shura, a young teenager with spina bifida in a part of the world that had nearly no antibiotics, was already a published author and artist when I first heard about him. He had had two exhibits of his art work at the renown Dom uchenykh (House of Scientists), and a documentary film had been made of his life. I have no idea what Shura's role is supposed to be in this world. Nor does he. However, God clearly wants him alive. The number of miracles, serendipities, and downright people-pushing that God did on Shura's behalf is mind-boggling. I cannot relate them all here because there are so many. I will at some future time (not distant future) post Shura's fuller story on The Clan of Mahlou blogspot, but that will have to wait for now because the story has so many details. The story is the framework for the first two parts (of three) of Blest Atheist; obviously, it is a complex story. (Where God gets so highly involved, I don't think complexity and mystery is avoidable.)

Here are the major ones:

1. I was introduced to Shura's plight by his godmother in a serendipitous meeting in Krasnoyarsk, where she was the head of a delegation of teachers from Shura's home town, Akademgorodok, who attended a two-week seminar I was teaching at the behest of the Siberian Regional Ministry of Education. It turns out that we had a common mentor -- my consultant at the Academy of Sciences in Akademgorodok had been her graduate advisor at Novosibirsk State University.

2. It quickly became clear that I was supposed to take care of Shura. God did not seem to care that I was an atheist at the time. He tasked me, and I had no choice but to obey. (Well, I suppose I did have a choice, but I kept getting pushed so hard that I simply became caught up in a whirlwind of miracles with no time to think about backing out -- some of that story can be found in an excerpt from my book on Mahlou Musings.) People would tell me that I was being used. When I would remonstrate that this was not possible because I was an atheist and believed that everything that was happening was a matter of coincidence, they would tell me to hush and just keep following along, and basically that is what I did, not even knowing why I did it.

3. God prepared me with the basic skills I would need: the ability to speak Russian (at one time, my major in graduate school) and the knowledge of spina bifida care (my younger daughter Noelle being a child with spina bifida). In fact, Noelle's doctor in Washington, DC was the person who was most instrumental in helping to get Shura into the US, filling out all the embassy's medical documentation. Clearly God started that preparation long before I ever heard about Shura, who was born half a world away a year after Noelle.

4. When the consular officer at the US Embassy refused to give Shura a visa, two diplomats stepped forward on my behalf (for Shura). They were my former students. More pre-planning?

5. When US hospitals would not operate on Shura without a $50K deposit and evidence that we would be able to pay the anticipated $500K bill (it turned out to be closer to a million dollars), we went looking for funds and were directed to a billionaire, John Kluge, who responded with a check for $500K (and later with another for the same amount) and tickets to the hospital of his choice, University of Virginia Hospital. We later learned that we had sent our plea to an unforwardable address in Virginia (a follow-up thank-you letter was returned to us), and yet within three days Mr. Kluge had received it at his correct address in New York. Moreover, the clinic coordinator at UVA Hospital was a former art instructor -- she recognized Shura's talent and was able to get him a residency at the Virginia Center for Creative Arts. She also took him into her home when it became clear that he would be spending more time in Virginia than in California; she had a son the same age, and the two boys became friends. During his stay in the hospital and after, Shura was befriended by a cardiac surgeon from the Ukraine who spoke Russian and was on an internship at UVA Hospital. The surgeon acted as Shura's interpreter and advocate and, later, American father. He even got eventually got US residency although that had seemed impossible when we first met him. Hah! Nothing turned out to be impossible in Shura's case. I have found that when God lets you be part of His miracles, the word, impossible, disappears from your vocabulary.

6. At a Tuesday evening pre-surgery moleibin (special intentions prayer during mass) for Shura at the Russian Orthodox Church in Washington DC, we met the overseer of the INS. He had worked late, knew that there was a mass that day, and "for some reason" felt compelled to stop in on his way home. He had not been in that church for over a year because he had moved his residence to Baltimore and attended church there. I am told that since that evening 16 years ago he has not been back. This wonderful man introduced himself after the mass, gave us his card, and offered to help in any way and ultimately assisted in getting Shura the long-term permission to stay in the USA that he needed to ensure his good health. We thought that he was a very special Good Samaritan. We only learned how very special he was several months ago with the publication of a book about an unusual icon and the identification of this man's son as the recipient of an incredible miracle. The boy had become blind, and his parents, ethnically Jews and spiritually atheists, were desperate to help him in any way possible. Grasping for straws, when they heard that the icon that weeps myrrh and causes healing would be at a church nearby (the same church that conducted Shura's moleibin), they took their son there. Myrrh flowed and gushed onto the floor. The priest anointed the boy's eyes with it, and the boy saw. The parents converted on the spot. Years later, the father was able to pass on God's blessing to his blind son by helping Shura, the lame son of another man.

There is much more to the story and even a follow-on story of a blind orphan with brain tumors who will be coming to the US as a result of her benefactor learning about Shura, contacting me, and my experience in working visas through the embassy coming to the rescue. The Russian doctors had given Katya of Tula only five years to live, and she wanted to die with relatives, the only ones she has being two brothers who were adopted by a family in New Hampshire a dozen years ago. Just when it seemed that it would be impossible to bring Katya to the USA all of the key players (the benefactor, me, my connections with and at the US Embassy, and Katya's nurse) all ended up in Moscow last August 6. None of us knew in advance that any of the others would be there, and I personally had earlier had no reason to go to Moscow, but suddenly I was needed as a consultant for an educational matter there. Subsequently, when Katya's Russian doctor refused to sign the paperwork to allow her to travel, that doctor mysteriously disappeared from the clinic and a new, more helpful doctor appeared in her place. Katya will be here soon, and now, after consultation with doctors in Boston, it appears that she may be coming to the USA not to die but to live. The doctors in Boston think that they can remove all the tumors.

There is too much complexity to these stories to include all the details here. I would simply ask two questions: (1) Could anyone of sound mind claim that all of these things were mere coincidence? and (2) assuming that this was a tasking from God, is there any doubt that He kept the same promise that He made to Moses: "Certainly, I will be with thee."

And that is far as I can go with you on this Monday morning. I must retire to prayer to ask God to keep using me for these marvelous plans of His to help the people of this world for I so very much enjoy being part of those plans, to express my regret for any and all pushes, nudges, and opportunities that I have missed as a result of my sometimes contrary and somewhat obtuse nature, to give thanks for these waves of miracles which God has washed over so many people in the cases of Shura and Katya alone, and to offer praise for the unimaginably skillful way in which God works to bring good from bad, to network dozens of people and institutions to help just one injured lamb, and to make the unbelievable real.

After that, I will spend some time in contemplation with this wonderful God who does not care who we are, who will use even an atheist to help the hurt and lost, who equips us to accomplish whatever task He has set before us, and who is with us every step of the way, moving forests, mountains, and every other obstacle so that we might complete His tasking successfully and in full confidence that our trust in Him is never misplaced.

I will now leave you to your prayer and contemplation.

If you pick this up as a weekly devotional activity, please share with me and others your own thoughts about the message of Exodus 3: 11-12 or any other scripture that you choose for meditation. Feel free to export the image of the mission church; maybe some time in the near future my Internet-inept self will be able to figure out how to use the Mr. Linky buttons. In the interim, perhaps you are welcome to use the image and share the meme of Monday Morning Meditation for starting out the work week closer to God.

Have a good day and a blessed week, filled with all good things -- and may God task you with something wonderful! No need to fear: He will be with you. He has promised it.