Finishing the book of Nehemiah this week, I began the book of Esther for the second time. We had read it earlier this year in my Bible Study group. Nonetheless, like most everything else that I come across in the Bible, it bears multiple readings, and here I am only on my second reading of it. The beginning chapters re-tell the story that I already knew, of Esther being offered to King Xerxes in marriage and of his not knowing that she was Jewish. Yet, the marriage seemed to work well. Well, that is, until King Xerxes prepares to conduct a genocide against the Jews, in which case Mordecai begs Esther to reveal her identity and save her people. He says to her, "Who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"Now I do know how this all turns out, as does anyone else familiar with Biblical stories. Yet, here I stopped this week, at this suspenseful moment. It seemed like the perfect stopping point: before the decision was made, thinking about what Esther must have been thinking about before she made the decision to take the risk, go to the King unbidden (a no-no in Xerxes' court), and plead for her people.
Reading: Esther 4:12
Meditation: Mordecai's words hit a raw nerve with me. I have an upcoming task (business trip) that is not completely physically safe, but I need to take it. My position is the correct one for me to be the person to take the risk. As I try to discern what God's will might be here, I think of the fact that God clearly wanted me in this job, and, therefore, I wonder whether I came to this position for such a time as this, to cite Mordecai's words to Esther. I really don't know. I keep hoping to find out before. I imagine that such thoughts also ran through Esther's mind. How does one ever really know, short of some type of divine revelation, which is not a daily occurrence, at least not in my life. Obviously, Esther took a chance. Obviously, I am also going to have to take a chance; at least, it would seem so at the moment. Not being very good at discernment, I have asked God to close any doors that He does not want me to walk through. That should take care of that! If the door is closed, clearly I can't go through it. The door on one portion of my trip, the riskiest, has been closed, but the door for the trip itself remains open. I assume that I will be airborne by the end of this month or early next month -- and I assume I will return wiser and in good shape. I don't think that Esther, being a person of good conscience, had a full choice. I don't believe that I, either, also, I hope, being a person of good conscience, have a full choice. Esther trusted to God. So will I.
Contemplation: That is far as I can go with you this Monday morning. I must retire to private prayer to thank God for giving me opportunity after opportunity to trust Him, to praise Him for His ability to take care of me time after time even when the risks I take are of my own making, to repent for any time that I might have tried to go it alone or to avoid a task He has put before me, and to ask Him either to improve my ability to discern His will or, in lieu of that, to keep opening and shutting doors to guide me into the places where He wants me to be. Then I will spend as much time as I can in contemplation, my favorite part of the day, letting God take over the direction in which my relationship with Him moves.
I will leave you to your prayer and contemplation, but first, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:
Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts. (During the week, he also posts great homilies and other thoughtful discussions. I enjoy reading those, too.)For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs that follow the enumeration of Monday Morning Meditations on the sidebar of this blog and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.
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