Monday Morning Meditation #66: God's Mercy Endures Forever

Psalm 136, the next psalm to cause me to pause, repeats an interesting refrain over and over, insisting that God is good "for His mercy endures forever." To whom does God extend His mercy? To all His people, to everyone, no matter how poor: "[God] remembered us in our lowly state, for His mercy endures forever; and rescued us from our enemies, for His mercy endures forever; [God] gives food to all flesh, for His mercy endures forever."

Reading: Psalm 136

Meditation: This particular psalm brings to mind my pre-conversion experience in Jordan. I worked nearly exclusively with a Muslim population; those who were not Muslim (something like 2%) were Christians. Finding an atheist was difficult. Knowing that I was an atheist (at that time) confused those who worked with me. They considered me highly ethical. So did/does my husband, Donnie. Once, when asked by an investigator for a security clearance I needed if I were ethical, Donnie gave a one-word answer: "brutally." Actually, though, most of the people who worked for me considered me kind although I am sure that those I had to discipline did not always consider me so. Because they viewed me in this way, they could not understand my atheism. Most of them looked upon Allah as a punitive God, not as a loving God, and therefore they did not understand how I could choose to be ethical, moral, kind, generous, etc., if I did not believe in a God ready to punish me for behaving differently. ("The Atheist and the Muslims" might be a great book title, should I ever have time to write something like that, because the issues that we had to work through brought Islam to life for me.)

The Christians who also viewed God as punitive and as protective of His people seemed to have missed Psalms 136, where it is made explicit that God is merciful to "all flesh." That, in my mind, would include non-believers, as well.

One of my favorite pieces of literature is "The Hound of Heaven" (Francis Thompson) for it shows how God is not only merciful to non-believers but also chases them back into the fold, as He did with me when I was lost but happily cavorting in the bramble bushes, unaware of what I was missing. If you have not read this beautiful, moving poem, here is a link (The Hound of Heaven) where you can spend some time reading the likes of the following:

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
. . .
Whom wilt thou find to love ignoble thee
Save Me, save only Me?
All which I took from thee I did but take,
Not for thy harms.
But just that thou might'st seek it in my arms.
All which thy child's mistake
Fancies as lost, I have stored for the at home;
Rise, clasp My hand, and come!"
Halts by me that footfall;
Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstreched caressingly?
"Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me."

Contemplation: That is far as I can go with you this Monday morning. I now retire to private prayer to repent all the years in which I evaded God, to praise God for His patience and incredible love for "all flesh," to thank God for wanting to take the hand of all of us, and to ask God to keep on "hounding" certain friends of mine whom I would love to see stop running long enough to see God's hand extended to them. Then I will move on to contemplation, my favorite part of the day, letting God take over the direction in which my relationship with Him moves.

I will leave you now to your prayer and contemplation. First, though, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I think you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts. (During the week, he also posts great homilies and other thoughtful discussions. I enjoy reading those, too, as do readers of this blog who have taken the stroll over to his blog.)

For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs on my sidebar and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

Monday Morning Meditation #60: So Great Is God's Mercy toward Us

I stumbled through nearly another 40 psalms this week. I don't know what I was looking for exactly, or if I was looking for anything. I usually just read until something jumps out at me, something that I can relate to and something that I can understand at a visceral level. Being chronically happy (whether or not I have real reason to be so), I have trouble relating to songs of lament or pleas to make one's life better. I guess I am just used to taking what comes my way and finding the challenge to make it all better intriguing. Finally, though, I landed on the page with Psalm 103, a song of praise and hope. Now that's to my liking!

The psalm begins with the words:

Bless the LORD, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!

The psalm goes on to tell us how deeply merciful God is toward us, how he forgives us over and over again, how he is slow to anger, and he never punishes us as much as we deserve for our sins.

Then the psalm ends with nearly the same words with which it begins:

Bless the LORD, you His angels,
Who excel in strength, who do His word,
Heeding the voice of His word.
Bless the LORD, all you His hosts,
You ministers of His, who do His pleasure.
Bless the LORD, all His works,
In all places of His dominion.
Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Reading: Psalm 103

Meditation: I don't know about you, but the lines about God not punishing us as much as we deserve hit home for me. Thank God that God's mercy is so deep and strong and all-encompassing. There are at least four kinds of "trouble" I find myself, trouble that could call forth anger from an unkind God or frustration from an impatient God, but God is neither unkind nor impatient. God is merciful and patient beyond anything that we can imagine.

First, there are the times that I end up deliberately doing something I know will sorrow God. Usually, it is because I am tired and lazy, but there are also those times that I want my anger (or other emotion of the moment) and hang onto it when I should let it go away, especially when I can feel God trying to brush it from my life. Okay, that's definitely not a cool way to relate to God, and for God's forgiveness in such cases, I am grateful.

Second, there are the ethical and moral dilemmas that crop up from time to time. Often, they appear from the requirements of my job as a supervisor. How does one fire someone in a kindly fashion? Yet, if one keeps an employee who is not a team player or who is so incompetent in his or her professional field that others must constantly step in to pick up the slack or who is simply lazy and lets others do his or her work, then it is not fair to everyone else who makes an honest effort. And that is one of the easier moral dilemmas I deal with! Thank God for priests who are willing to think matters through with me from a moral and servant leadership point of view.

Third, there are the taskings that I occasionally get and don't know how to respond to. Sometimes I don't want to do them. Sometimes I don't know how to do them. Sometimes I don't feel qualified to do them. Nearly always I am concerned about their authenticity -- how do I know that they are for real? (That's when I go running to a priest for help.) So, given all those concerns, I nearly always also hesitate before displaying one iota of obedience. God forgives -- and expects the tasking to be completed (always, thankfully, with divine help).

Fourth, there are just the accidental slip-ups. These are the "naughty" things that happen just because we are all human. At least, I know I have a lot of company in these cases. I think not only God has to forgive us for our slip-ups, but we also have to stand ready to forgive ourselves so that we can accept God's forgiveness and know that it is meaningful.

Contemplation: That is far as I can go with you this Monday morning. I now retire to private prayer, repenting for the many times that I have relied upon God's mercy rather than doing as I ought to have done, thank Him for the expansiveness of His mercy, and beg Him to continue to show me His mercy for I shall continue to need it. Oh, and yes, as the psalm says, I will praise and bless His holy name. Then I will move on to contemplation, my favorite part of the day, letting God take over the direction in which my relationship with Him moves.

I will leave you now to your prayer and contemplation. First, though, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts. (During the week, he also posts great homilies and other thoughtful discussions. I enjoy reading those, too.)


For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs on my sidebar and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.

Tender Mercy

Many, many thanks to all of you who have been praying for Ray and our family, especially those who promised to pray at 6:00 last night as he was taken off life support. There was no way to let you all know that the 6:00 prayers were excess -- but, then, are any prayers really excesss? -- for Ray had already passed away by that time.

At 9:20 a.m., Noelle called me at my office. She told me that the hospital had just called. The doctor relayed the information that Ray's respirator hose had suddenly and unexpectedly torn, and he had died instantly. The doctor added that no one had touched the hose at all, so there was some puzzlement as to how it had happened; this is not something that they routinely worry about or look for.

That event made unnecessary the need to go to the hospital at 6:00, give permission to remove Ray from life support, and watch him die. While Noelle is experiencing much grief from losing Ray, there was wonderment and immense relief in her voice as she told me what happened. She had been very apprehensive about the planned trip to the hospital.

"This is a blessing, Mom," she told. "A real blessing. He did not die by my hand, by my concurrence that he should be unplugged. He just died because his life was over."

Sometimes God's kind mercy is so startling that one cannot even say a normal prayer but just keep repeating over and over in awe and gratitude, "My Lord and my God, THANK YOU!"

Concurrently posted on Clan of Mahlou and Modern Mysticism.