Monday Morning Meditation #49: Relationships Are Two-Sided

As I worked on this post, I read and read and read. I read all the way through 2 Chronicles. Nothing touched me. Then I bored into Nehemiah. Nothing touched me. So I read more, and still nothing touched me. Then I understood what was happening. I was reading for me. I was waiting for something to touch me. But it is not about me. (Golly, how hard it is to internalize that truth.) Then, at last, I did what I usually do before I begin reading. I asked God what He wanted me to take away from the reading, what He wanted me to put into this post. Shortly after that, the words of Nehemiah 9 reached out and stopped me. This is a beautiful and striking passage, one worth reading slowly, in detail, over and over. (The meditation will be more meaningful, I think, if you do the reading now and make your own assessment of the text before reading mine.)

Reading: Nehemiah 9.

Meditation: When I started out reading, I was committing the same mistake that the Israelis were described as making. I forgot that relationships are two-way, not one-way. The Israelis moved along, self-absorbed in their lives; I moved along, self-absorbed in my reading. All the time, God kept performing miracle after miracle for them, providing for them, and forgiving them their arrogant ignorance of Him, of the other side of the relationship. In my case, I spent years literally as a blest atheist; God kept performing miracles in my life that I did not see, providing for me although I did not notice, and forgiving me for the one-sided relationship. This morning, as I read, He stayed in the background, patiently waiting for that moment when I would remember that I was not reading for myself but for Him, when I would remember that I did not move from writing for academic presses to writing for Him by my own decision but by His direction, and, most important, when I would remember that there is no relationship without the participation of both parties.

I always begin the lectio part of lectio divina with a short prayer for guidance. This morning, the prayer was so short as not to exist, and I got exactly what I asked for: nothing. When I remembered that there were two of us involved her, confessed my failing, and asked for help, I got the help I needed, as did the Israelis in this story in Nemehia when they confessed their sins and renewed their covenant with God.

Contemplation: That is far as I can go with you this Monday morning. I must retire to private prayer to thank God for giving me yet another chance, to praise Him for His capacity for forgiveness, to repent for any time that I might have tried to go it alone, forgetting that relationships are two-sided, and to ask God to keep tapping me on the shoulder when I become selfishly oblivious to His presence as much as I regret that obliviousness later. Then I will spend as much time as I can in contemplation, my favorite part of the day, letting God take over the direction in which my relationship with Him moves.

I will leave you to your prayer and contemplation, but first, I would like to bring to your attention a Monday morning prayer post that you might enjoy:

Fr. Austin Fleming, priest of the Archdiocese of Boston and pastor in Concord, Massachusetts, posts a prayer each Monday morning that he calls "Monday Morning Offering." I enjoy his prayers very much. I hope you also will find them inspirational. He has graciously given me permission to include a link to his blog on my Monday Morning Meditation posts. (During the week, he also posts great homilies and other thoughtful discussions. I enjoy reading those, too.)

For additional inspiration throughout the week, I would point out two sets of blogs: (1) the list of devotional blogs that follow the enumeration of Monday Morning Meditations on the sidebar of this blog and (2) my blogroll, where I am following a number of inspirational priests and writers about spiritual matters. I learn so very much from all these people. I highly recommend them to you.